Sunday, July 24, 2011

Crest 3D White commercials

Sooo maybe I'm the only one who gets really strong reactions, positive or negative, to certain people in commercials. Let's start with a positive: The Mayhem man. I love the Mayhem man-- "I'm a racoon!" That is quality advertising.

Now for the reason I am here: the Crest 3D White lady. I can think of 3 scenarios where her OCD about the Vita shade levels of her teeth may or may not prohibit her from doing totally awesome things.
***I may have mixed up scenario/reaction for 1 & 2... but you get the idea***

Scenario 1: Red carpet invite. Longtime best friend calls up Crazy to tell her that boyfriend is sick and can't go to the premiere tonight, would she want to go.
Reaction: "TWO HOURS?" Immediately breaks out in hives and, panicked, looks at her teeth in a teeny mirror, while at a restaurant (rude). It's worse than she expected. Two days can take a toll on that sparkle.
Thanks to Crest whitestrips... : Is able to be the center of the universe again.
Where she would be if not for Crest 3D white strips, paste, and mouthwash: Locked in a Harry Potter cupboard avoiding the world.

Scenario 2: Vegas (or should I say "VEGAS?!"). Friends inform her they're running off to Vegas for crazyass funtimes.
Reaction: "VEGAS?!" While driving her saucy convertible down the freeway at 80 mph, cranes her neck to check her teeth in the rearview mirror, which of course look disgusting! She hasn't whitened since the premiere last weekend!
Thanks to Crest whitestrips... : Is able to ride the whole way to Vegas with gooey crap on her teeth, drooling into a plastic water bottle while her friends gently tease but quietly bottle up the fact that her teeth are going to be see-through by the time they cross the Mohave.
Where she would be if not for Crest 3D white strips, paste, and mouthwash: Playing bingo in a hall with a bunch of ladies in wigs, which would be cool if her mouth weren't taped shut to prevent others from seeing her hideous grill, which also makes calling out "BINGO!" impossible. She will never win at gambling or at life.

Scenario 3: Fine dude on the train. He looks at her.
Reaction: Thank God! She timed this right and skipped lunch to white-strip it up. She smiles, of course!
Thanks to Crest whitestrips... : Soulmates, duh.
Where she would be if not for Crest 3D white strips, paste, and mouthwash: Under the tracks.